grace

… filling in the negative space with positively everything

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    • little pig little pig

    Posted on | April 9, 2006 | No Comments

    i got back from nyc and la to find out i am now 123 pounds. for my height, according to all medical websites, that makes me officially overweight. yay. and in fact, i am actually on my way to being officially obese.

    all this after watching what i eat and exercising religiously for the past year. something is really wrong with my body, but i have yet to discover the root of it all. i can’t stand my body being so bloated and edemic and in pain every day. some days, i feel like walking in front of a bus or jumping off of a very tall building. i always did want to go skydiving.

    so i’ve decided to do the “master cleanse,” as suggested by my friend joey guila. then i will go to an endocrinologist and get all my hormone levels tested. whatever this is, i’m determined to not let it kill me. i can do that on my own, thank you very much.

    and i’ve realized i’m going to die soon. i may be 32 now, but i never saw myself living past 37. like the ancient mayan calendar that everyone references when making apocalyptic predictions, all visions of my existence always ended abruptly at age 37. i never saw a future for myself after that. maybe i was just preparing myself for a mid-life crisis…although i already had that at 26.

    37…that would be in 2010. maybe i should see that movie.

    Category: a musing

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